I just got this email:
molldoll1982, your OkCupid account is about to be disabled!
I never signed up for it.
… ?
… ?!
What if there’s a secret Internet me going on weird dates?
I bet she puts out.
Whore.
Sorry,
Ho.
What does she look for in her World Wide men?
A sexy pic?
A big byte?
No.
A big terabyte?
Picky, perhaps.
Hi Mark, Judging from your misquoted pop culture references and fascination with laser cats, we likely would not make a good match at this time. Please reach out after you’ve deleted your ex-gf pics and resolved your unibrow. Thanks, Molldoll1982
Hola Julio, lo siento, pero no. Srta. Molldoll1982
Winked at, poked and clicked around.
Broken down, ditched on the information superhighway.
Buzz, buzz.
Heart stops.
Thumb swipes.
Mr. Right has replied!
hi doll
Worth Writing Down 